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英语笑话大全 爆笑

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简介英语笑话大全 爆笑       您好,很高兴能为您介绍一下英语笑话大全 爆笑的相关问题。我希望我的回答能够给您带来一些启示和帮助。1.童真童趣英语幽默笑话2.英语小笑话精选3.大笑英语笑话笑破你的肚子4.经典英语笑话集

英语笑话大全 爆笑

       您好,很高兴能为您介绍一下英语笑话大全 爆笑的相关问题。我希望我的回答能够给您带来一些启示和帮助。

1.童真童趣英语幽默笑话

2.英语小笑话精选

3.大笑英语笑话笑破你的肚子

4.经典英语笑话集大全?

5.又幽默又短的英语笑话

6.英语幽默笑话大全带翻译?

英语笑话大全 爆笑

童真童趣英语幽默笑话

        童真童趣英语幽默笑话大全

        1. Tommy: "How is your little brother, Johnny?"

       

        汤米:“约翰,你的弟弟好吗?”

        Johnny: "He is ill in bed. He hurt himself."

        约翰尼:“他生病卧床了,他伤着了自己。”

        Tommy: "That's too bad. How did that happen?"

        汤米:“太糟了。是怎么回事?”

        Johnny: "We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won."

        约翰尼:’我们做游戏,看谁能把身子探出窗外最远,结果他赢了。”

        2. Son: "Dad, is French hard to learn?"

        儿子:“爸爸,法语难学吗?”

        Father: "My boy, at the beginning it is, but after that, it becomes easy."

        父亲:“我的孩子,开头难,但往后就变得容易了。”

        Son: "That's great! I'll learn the latter half."

        儿子:“太棒了!那我就学后半部分。”

        3. A little boy lost his way and went to ask the policeman by the road.

        一个小孩迷了路,就去问路边的警察。

        The policeman asked, "Sonny, where's your home?"

        警察问:“小家伙,你的家在哪里?”

        The boy replied, "My mother teaches me to ask the policeman when I lose my way, but she doesn't tell me where I live."

        男孩回答说:“妈妈教我迷路时,就去问警察,但她没有告诉我住在哪里。”

        4. The mother asked her little son, "Tom, if the car is made of cholocate, which part will you eat first?

        一母亲问小儿子:“汤姆,如果汽车是用巧克力做的,你先吃哪部分?”

        Tom replied quickly, "Wheels! Then the car won't be off."

        汤姆飞快地答道:“轮子!这样汽车就开不走了。”

        5. A schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach.

        一个男孩放学回家时,感到肚子疼。

        "Well, sit down and have some snacks," said his mother. "Your stomach's hurting because it's empty. It'll be all right when you've got something in it."

        “来,坐下,吃些点心,”他的.妈妈说。“你肚子疼,是因为肚子空了。你吃了东西,就没事了。”

        Shortly afterwards, dad came in from work, complaining of a headche. "That's because it's empty," said his son. "You'll be all right if you have something in it."

        过了一会儿,男孩的爸爸下班回来,抱怨说自己头疼。“你头疼,是因为脑袋空了,”他的儿子说,“脑袋里装点东西,就没事了。”

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英语小笑话精选

       笑话作为广大人民群众喜闻乐见的文学样式,自诞生之日起就凭借其辛辣独到的讽刺手法,夸张变形的艺术构思以及背反逻辑的情节设想等语体特点而得到作家青睐。我精心收集了简短英语小笑话带翻译,供大家欣赏学习!

       简短英语小笑话带翻译篇1

        财政学的一课

        Smith was the manager of a construction company and was taking bids on a new project. Thefirst bidder was a Polish company, and their representative offered to do the job for $ 400,000. "That seems reasonable," said Smith. "Can you give me a breakdown on that?"

        史密斯是一家建设公司的经理,他正负责一个新工程的招标案。第一位投标的是一家波兰公司,他们的代表出价四十万元接那个案子。“似乎很合理,”史密斯说。“你可不可以给我一张明细表呢?”

        "Sure," said the Pole, " $200, 000 for labor and $ 200,000 for materials. "

        “当然没问题,”波兰公司代表说道,“二十万元工资,二十万元材科费。”

        Next to make a bid was the Standard American Construction Company, which bid $ 800,000.

        下一个出标的是美国标准建设公司,他们以八十万元竞标。

        "Hmm, that seems a bit high," said Smith. "What's the breakdown?"

        “嗯,这个价钱似乎有些偏高,”史密斯说道。"你们有明细表吗?"

        " $ 400,000 0n materials, $ 400,000 0n labor. "

        “四十万元材料,四十万元工资。”

        "I'll get back to you. "

        “我以后再同你联系。”

        Finally the representative of Cohen, Goldstein and Leibowitz entered Smith's office. " $ 1,200,000 is our bid," said the agent."

        最后可翰?高斯坦?雷伯威兹公司的代表走进史密斯办公室。“一百二十万元是我们竞标的价码,”代表说道。

        $11 200, 0001 That' s way out of line," exclaimed Smith. "Can you give me a breakdown onthat?"

        “一百二十万元这个标高得太过分了,”史密斯叫道“你可以给我一张明细表吗?"

        "No problem," replied the rep. " $400, 000 for me,$ 400 , 000 for you and $ 400,000 for thePolacks.

        “没有问题,”代表回答道。“四十万元给我,四十万元给你,最后四十万元则给那家波兰佬开的公司。”

        简短英语小笑话带翻译篇2

        黑人英语

        The black couple already had eight children, and Lula May was pregnantwith her ninth. Finallyshe convinced her husband to get a vasectomy.

        一对黑人夫妇已有八个小孩,而鲁拉?梅又怀了第九个小孩,最后她说服了她先生去做男性绝育手术。

        On the morning of the operation, she was surprised to see her husbandputting on a tuxedoand getting into a limousine for the short ride to thehospital.

        手术的早晨,她惊讶地看见她老公穿着礼服,乘坐一辆礼车到不远的医院去。

        "Say, honey, what's all this about?" asked Lula May.

        "亲爱的,这是怎么一回事啊?鲁拉?梅问道。"

        "Baby, if you gonna be important, you gotta look important.

        "宝贝,如果你想当名大人物的话,就要让人一看就知道你很重要!"

        简短英语小笑话带翻译篇3

        向你的烦恼说再见

        A Jew, an Indian and a black were lined up to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.

        一位犹太人、一位印第安人和一位黑人列队进入天国之门。

        Said the Jew to St. Peter, 66 Frankly, I'm rather surprised to be here. All my life Christians havedespised and reviled me. "

        那位犹太人对圣彼得说:“坦白讲,能到这里让我蛮惊讶的,我一辈子一直都受到__的轻视和侮辱。”

        "That's a great sorrow to us,"said St. Peter, "but you won't find that kind of prejudice here.Here, all are truly equal.Just spell God and you may enter."

        “我们实在感到非常遗憾,”圣彼得说,“但我们这里没有那样的偏见,这里每个人都完全平等,只要拼出God这个词你就能进入天堂。”

        the Jew truly spell out god and was swept through the gates.Next,the Indian came forward andsaid,"St.Peter,all my life I suffered from poverty and discrimination,and could only live in areservation.Will I truly be free here?"

        那名犹太人正确地拼出God后,被招入门内。接着印第安人走向前说道“圣彼得,我一辈子饱受贫穷和种族歧视的打击,而且只能住在居留地内,我在这里能得到真正的自由吗?”

        "My son, your troubles are over.Just spell the word God you will be free as a bird. "

        “小兄弟,你的烦恼已经结束了,只要拼出God这个词,你就能像小鸟一样自由自在。”

        The Indian obliged and he, too, entered the Heavenly Kingdom.

        印第安人照着做,不久也被引入天堂。

        Next,the black man strode forward."St. Peter," he said, "all my life people looked down on meand treated me unfairly.That won't happen here, will it?"

        接着那名黑人跨步向前,“圣彼得,”他说道,“一辈子人们都瞧不起我,不公平对待我,在这里那些事不会发生吧!”

        "Of course not, my boy. We don't do that kind of thing here.Just spell" onomatopoeia "and theKingdom of Heaven is yours "

        “当然不会,我的弟兄,我们不会做那样的事,只要拼出onomatopoeia这个词,天堂之国就是你的了!”

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大笑英语笑话笑破你的肚子

       1:Dream 梦想

        The school of agriculture's dean of admissions was interviewing a prospective student. "Why have you chosen this career?" he asked.

        "I dream of making a million dollars in farming, like my father," the student replied.

        "Your father made a million dollars in farming?" echoed the impressed dean.

        "No," replied the applicant. "But he always dreamed of it.

        农校的招生办主任在面试一个上线的学生,“你为何要选择这个职业?”他问。 “我梦想以经营农场来赚一百万元,就像我父亲一样。”这个学生回答说。 “你父亲经营农场赚了一百万元?”主任惊诧地问道。

        “没有,”这位申请人回答道,“他总是梦想着赚到这个数目。”

        2:Wedding or Not

        Uncle Frank, at 79, was a healthy and wealthy man, a lifelong bachelor. He courted a lot, he said, but "never boiled over-just simmered." On a whim, he decided to take a trip around the country to look up nearly a dozen old girlfriends.

        Upon his return he exclaimed, "Whew! Thank goodness I never married any of those women - They're all widows now!

        弗兰克叔叔七十八岁了,富有而健康。他是个终生单身汉。他曾追求过很多女孩,但“从不过热----见好就收”。一天他突发奇想,决定四处走走,去看看他那些接近一打的旧时女友。

        他回来即叹道:“嘘!谢天谢地幸亏我没娶那些女人中的任何一个。如今她们都成寡妇了!”

        3:A Boy with a Big Head大头娃娃

        A boy cried to his mother, "All the children make fun of me. They say I have a big head."

        "Don't listen to them," his mother said, "You have a beautiful head. Now stop crying and go to the store to buy twenty pounds of patotoes."

        "Where is the shopping bag?"

        "I haven't got one-use your hat."

        一个小男孩向他母亲哭诉道:“他们都取笑我,说我脑袋大。” “别听他们的,”他母亲安慰道,“你有一个很漂亮的脑袋。好啦,别哭了,去商店买十斤土豆来。”

        “购物袋在哪儿?”

        “没购物袋了----就用你的帽子吧。”

        4:All Right 没关系

        Hurrying my 11-year old daughter to school, I made a right turn at a red light when it was prohibited. Uh-oh, I said, realizing my mistake. I just make an illegal turn.I guess it's all right, my daughter replied, The police car behind us did the same thing.

        我赶着开车将11岁的女儿送到学校去,在红灯处右拐了,而那是不允许的(译注:在一些国家如英国,其交通规则是车辆左行的,与我国相反)。啊噢,意识到犯了错误,我说。我刚才拐弯是违章的。我想那没关系的,女儿回答说:我们后面的警车也同样拐了弯。

        5:第一次开出租车

        A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimetres from a shop window.

        The driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much. "The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."

        乘客轻拍了一下出租车司机的肩膀,想问个问题。司机大叫起来,车也失去了控制,几乎撞上一辆公车,还上了便道,在还差几厘米就撞上商店橱窗时终于停了下来。

        司机说:“伙计,别再这么干了。你把我吓破胆了!”乘客抱歉地说,“我没想到拍你一下就吓成这样。” 司机说:“对不起,也不全是你的错。今天是我第一天开出租,以前25年里我一直开殡葬车。”

        6:摩西和耶稣

        A burglar breaks into a house. He sees a CD player that he wants so he takes it. Then he hears a voice "JESUS is watching you". He looks around with his flashlight wandering "What The HELL Was That?". He spots some $ on a table and takes it......Once again he hears a voice " JESUS is watching you". He hides in a corner trying to find where the voice came from. He spots a birdcage with a parrot in it! He goes over and asks " Was that your voice?". It said "YES". He then says "What's your name?". It says "MOSES". The burglar says " What kind of person names his bird moses?" The parrot replys "THE SAME PERSON THAT NAMES HIS Rottweiler "JESUS".

        一个窃贼潜入一户人家。他看到一个喜欢的CD机,他赶紧拿了。就在这个时候他听到有人说:“耶稣正在看着你。”他照着手电看来看去,嘀咕着:“到底是什么人在说话?”这时,他看到桌子上有些钱,他又拿了。。。那声音又来了:“耶稣正在看着你。”他躲到一个角落,想找出是谁在说话。结果看到一只鹦鹉,于是他问鹦鹉:“是你在说话吗?”鹦鹉承认了。 小贼说:“你叫什么名字?”“摩西”。小贼说:“什么人给鸟取这种名字?”鹦鹉回答:“就是那个给他的罗威那犬取名为‘耶稣’的那个人啊。”

        7:Only One Eye to Settle On

        The girl found the go-between and said, "You cheated me ! One of his eyes is not true. Why didn't you tell me this before ?"

        "I have told you. " said the go-between with justice on his side, When you met first, I told you that he settled on you with one eye.

        姑娘找到媒人,说:“你欺骗了我。他的一只眼是假眼,你以前为什么不告诉我?” “怎么没告诉你?”媒人也不甘示弱,“你们第一回见面后,我就说,他一眼就看中你了。”

        8:上帝是不聋,可奶奶聋呀!

        Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents'. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the younger one began praying at the top of his lungs. "I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE... I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO... I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR..."

        His older brother nudged him and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf."

        To which the younger one replied, "No, but Grandma is!"

        两个小男孩在他们的祖父母家过夜。睡觉时间到了,这两个小男孩跪在床上祈祷。弟弟用非常大的声音祈祷着,“我祈求有一辆新自行车……我祈求有一个新游戏机……我祈求有一个新录像机……”

        他的哥哥用胳膊肘轻轻地碰了他一下,说:“你为什么这么大声地喊叫呢?上帝又不是聋子。”

        弟弟听了回答道:“上帝是不聋,可奶奶聋呀!”

        9:The Use of a Handsaw

        At the mall, my wife and I picked up some hardware items, including a handsaw. We were heading back to the car when we passed a steakhouse.

        Let's try it. " my wife suggested. Although I felt a little foolish carrying the saw, I followed her inside.

        Scanning the menu, my wife told the waitress, " I' 11 have chopped sirloin, please.

        The waitress turned to me, eyed my saw and mented, "And I see that. you, sir, have e for our T-bone special.

        在集市上,我和妻子买了一些五金用品,包括一个手锯。我们返回汽车时刚好路过一家牛排店。 “我们尝尝吧,”我妻子建议说。尽管我觉得拿着锯有点傻乎乎的,但还是随她走了进去。 我妻子扫视了一下菜单对女招待说:“请给我来一份炒牛腰片。” 女招待转向我,看了看我的锯,说道:“我能看出,先生,你是来吃我们的T形骨特色菜的。”

        10:你爸爸帮你了吗?

        One day, Tim's mathematics teacher looked at his homework and saw that he had got all his sums right.

        The teacher was very pleased-and rather surprised.

        He called Tim to his desk and said to him, "You got all your homework right this time, Tim. What happened? Did your father help you?"

        "No, sir. He was too busy last night, so I had to do it all myself," said Tim."

        一天,蒂姆的数学老师看了他的作业,发现他全做对了。

        老师很高兴,同时也十分惊讶。

        他把蒂姆叫到桌前说:"蒂姆,你这次的作业全都做对了,怎么回事?你爸爸帮你做了吗?"

        "不,先生,我爸爸昨天很忙,我不得不全由自己做。"

        11:怎么把口香糖取出来呢

        How do I get the gum out? Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keep their ears from popping. When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed up to her and said, I'm meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum out from my ears?

        怎么把口香糖取出来呢当空中**给乘客们发口香糖的时候,她解释说口香糖有助于他们防止耳鸣。飞机着陆后,一位乘客跑到这位空中**面前,说道:“ 我马上就要见到我妻子了。我怎么才能把口香糖从耳朵里面取出来呢?”

        12:A Blind Beggar

        There was a blind beggar wearing sunglasses and asking for money. A drunk man walked by, thinking the beggar was pitiful, threw him a hundred dollars.After walking a few steps, the drunkard turned around to see the blind man holding the money up to the sunlight to check if it was genuine. The drunk man, feeling cheated, ran back and snatched the money back, “You’re gonna die! How dare you cheat me…”The blind man, not wanting to feel like a cheater, retorted, “Hey man, I’m sorry, I’m just here to replace my friend who really is blind. He went to the bathroom, and should be right back… Actually… I’m mute.”“Oh, oh, in that case...” whereupon the drunk threw the money back and stumbled away.

        在路边一个盲人乞丐戴着墨镜在街上行乞。一个醉汉走过来,觉得他可怜,就扔了一百元给他。走了一段路,醉汉一回头,恰好看见那个盲人正对着太阳分辨那张百元大抄的真假。醉汉过来一把夺回钱道:“你不想活了,竟敢骗老子!” 盲人乞丐一脸委屈说:“大哥,真对不起啊,我是替一个朋友在这看一下,他是个瞎子,去上厕所了,其实我是个哑巴。”“哦,是这样子啊!”于是醉汉扔下钱, 又摇摇晃晃地走了……

        zhl201612

经典英语笑话集大全?

        大笑英语笑话大全笑破你的肚子

        会讲笑话的人都是有好人缘的人,所以我们要多亲近一些笑话大王们。现在我也来当笑话大王啦!我给大家收集整理了大笑英语笑话大全笑破你的肚子,一起来笑笑,收集好人缘吧!

       

        大笑英语笑话大全笑破你的肚子1

        True Dedication

        好投入啊!

        Mrs. Fortesque was getting more and more worried.

        福特斯克太太越来越担心,

        Her husband had left for a round of golf early in the morning and by mid-afternoon he still wasn't home.

        因为她先生一早出去打高尔夫球,到下午三四点都还没回家,

        Evening came and Mr.Fortesque still hadn't returned.

        甚至到傍晚也还不见人影。

        The lady was just about to call the police when she heard her husband's car pulling into the drive way,

        福特斯克太太正要打电话报警就听到她先生开车回来了。

        Rushing outside, she told her husband, "Darling, I was so worried about you. What kept you?"

        她冲出门外,向她先生说道:"亲爱的,我一整天都在担心你,是什么事把你耽搁了?"

        "Charlie had a heart attack on the fourth hole."

        ?查理在第四洞时心脏病发作。?

        "Oh, my goodness, that's terrible!"

        ?喔,天哪,真可怕!?

        "You're telling me! All day long it was shoot the ball, drag Charlie, shoot the ball, drag Charlie . . . . "

        ?那还用你说吗!-整天我都一边打球,一边拉查理,一会儿打球,一会儿拖查理,?

        大笑英语笑话大全笑破你的肚子2

        Make a Wish

        许个愿吧!

        Every morning on his way to work, a business man passed a house where he saw a woman beating her looy on the head with a loaf of bread.

        每天早晨一位商人在上班途中都会经过一户人家,他总是看见一个女人用一条面包打她儿子的头部。

        But on this particular day, he noticed that she was hitting him with a piece of chocolate cake.

        但今天却比较特别,他发现她正用一块巧克力蛋糕打他的头。

        Unable to restrain his curiosity, he rang the doorbell and the woman answere .

        他忍不住好奇,便按了那户人家的门铃。女人听了铃声,出来开门。

        "Madam, I couldn't help but notice that every day you beat your child with a loaf of bread. . . "

        ?这位太太,每天经过这里我都忍不住会注意到你用一条面包打你儿子

        "That's true ."

        "那倒是不假?"

        "And yet today I observed that you were hitting him with a piece of chocolate cake. ',

        "可是今天我却看见你用一块巧克力蛋糕打他。"

        ?Well, today's his birthday. ?

        ?今天是他生日嘛。?

        大笑英语笑话大全笑破你的肚子3

        A Precocious Child

        一个早熟的小孩

        When the door-to-door salesman rang the doorbell of the suburban home,

        当挨家挨户兜售东西的推销员按了一幢郊区房子的门铃后,

        he was taken a back when a 10-year-old boy opened the door smoking a big cigar.

        他吓了一跳,开门的竟是一位嘴里叼着一根大雪茄的十岁男孩。

        The salesman could only stammer out, "Er, is your mother at home?"

        推销员结结巴巴地问道,?哦,你妈妈在家吗?

        Answered the boy, "What do you think?"

        小男孩回答说,"你认为呢?"

        大笑英语笑话大全笑破你的肚子4

        A Remarkable Talent

        一位了不起的天才

        "Did you know I could tell time by the piano?" asked one friend of another.

        ?你相信我可以由钢琴知道现在几点钟吗?一位老兄向他的朋友问道。

        "You're kidding," replied his companion dubiously.

        ?别开玩笑了!?他的`朋友怀疑地回答。

        "I'll show you," said the first man as he sat down at the piano and started to hammer out a martial tune.

        ?那我试给你看,?说着那位老兄就坐在钢琴前开始弹起一首进行曲。

        Within seconds came a pounding on the wall, and an angry voice shouting,

        几秒钟后墙壁传来捶打声,一个愤怒的声音叫道:

        "Hey, you son of a bitch, don?t you realize it,s three o?clock in the morning?"

        ?嘿!你,你知不知道现在是凌晨三点钟?

        大笑英语笑话大全笑破你的肚子5

        City Suckers

        城里来的傻瓜

        Two city folk were on a drive in the country, but got completely lost.

        两个城市里的老兄在一条乡间小道上开车迷了路,

        Pulling over next to an old farmer, they asked him if he knew the way back to the city.

        他们把车停靠一位老农夫旁边,问他知不知道回城里的路。

        "Nope. Can't say that I do," replied the old hayseed.

        ?不,我不知道,?老农夫答道。

        "Well, can you tell us how to get back to the main highway?"

        ?那你知道回到主要公路要怎么走吗?

        "Nope. Don't know that, either. "

        ?不,我也不知道。?

        "Well, you sure don't know much, do you?"

        "喔,你好像不太熟悉这里的路况,是吗?"

        " Could be. . . but I ain't lost, neither."

        ?可以这么说,?可是我也不会迷路。?

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又幽默又短的英语笑话

       冷笑话有着其独有的风格和特点,它的出现和传播必定有一定的原因。下面我整理了经典英语笑话集,希望大家喜欢!

        经典英语笑话集摘抄

       早退***中英***

       These two construction workers always noticed that their boss always left early on Fridays. So one asked the other that if the boss left early next Friday if he would want to also. The other man agreed.

       两个建筑工人发现他们的老板总是在周五提前下班。所以,一个工人问另一个,如果下周五老板还早走,他们能不能也早走。另一个人同意了。

       Sure enough, when Friday came,the boss left early. Therefore,the two men left also. The one offered the other to join him down at the bar, but he decided to just head on home. When he arrived home,he heard a noise from upstairs. When he reached the top of the stairs, he noticed that the noise was ing from the bedroom. He opened the door and saw his boss sleeping with his wife, so he quietly closed the door and headed back down the stairs and out the front door.

       不出所料,周五的时候老板又提前走了,因此他们两个也走了。一个工人邀请另一个去酒吧,但是另一个决定要直接回家。当他到家以后听到有声音从楼上传来。他走到楼上时发现声音是从卧室传出来的。他开启卧室的门看见他的老板和他的妻子在一起,所以他轻轻的关上门,然后下楼冲出了大门。

       He made his way down to the bar to see if his friend was still there and he was. His friend asked,"I thought you were headed home.”The man replied,"I did,but this is the last time I ever leave work early again.” His friend asked, “Why's that?" The man replied, "The boss almost caught me.”

       他来到了酒吧,看到了他的朋友还在那里。他的朋友问他:“我以为你直接回家了。”那个男人回答:“我是回家了,但是这是我最后一次早退,我再也不那么做了。”他的朋友问:“为什么?”那个男人回答:“老板差一点抓住我。”

        经典英语笑话集鉴赏

       价钱***中英***

       In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber. “I' m afraid I'm the bearer of bad news,” he said as he surveyed the worried faces. "The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It’s an experimental procedure, semi一risky, and you will have to pay for the brain yourselves.”

       医院里亲戚们在等候室里,他们家里的一员病得很重。最后,医生走进来,他看上去有些疲惫和优虑。“我恐怕带来了不好的讯息”,他看着那一张张担心的面孔说,“你们挽救你们最亲爱的人惟一的机会,就是大脑移植了。这种手术还属于试验阶段,只有一半成功的可能性。你们要为移植的大脑付钱。”

       The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked, "hell, how much does a brain cost?" The doctor quickly responded, “$5,000 for a male brain, and X200 for a female brain.” The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to *** ile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually looked.

       家庭成员听到这个讯息时都沉默地坐在那里。过了很长时间,有人问:“天哪,一个大脑要多少钱?”医生马上回答:“男性大脑要五千美元,女性大脑要二百美元。”这时气氛变得尴尬。屋子里的男性忍着不笑出来,避免和女人有眼神的接触,但还是有人看她们。

       A man, unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask,"Why is the male brain so much more?" The doctor *** iled at the childish innocence and so to the entire group said, "It' s just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains,because they've been used.”

       一个男人终于控制不了自己的好奇心,问了一个每个人都想知道的问题:“为什么男性的大脑这么值钱?”医生对那个幼稚无知的人笑了笑,对所有人说:“这是标准的价格。我们不得不对女性的大脑减价,因为她们的大脑是用过的。”

        经典英语笑话集赏析

       魔镜***中英***

       One late night, a blonde was traveling when she passed a hotel and decided to stop for the night. When she entered the hotel,she rented a room for the night and on her way up, she heard some ladies talking in the hall about a secret mirror in the girl’s washroom on the bottom floor.

       一天深夜,一个旅途中的金发女郎路过一个宾馆,她决定在那里停下来住一夜。她走进宾馆租了一间房准备住一个晚上。当她上楼的时候,她听到大厅里一些女人正在谈论一楼女卫生间里有关神秘镜的事情。

       The blonde became so curious that she had to check it out. So, that night the blonde went to the girls' washroom on the bottom floor. When she got there she saw a line in front of a mirror in which she joined.

       这个金发女郎对这个非常好奇,就决定去看一看。那天深夜,她来到了一楼的女卫生间。当她到了那里时,看见在镜子前面有一群人在排队,她就加人了进去。

       Now the rule with this magic mirror was that she who told the truth in this mirror would be granted any wish she desired, but she who told a lie in this mirror would be sucked up into the mirror and never seen again.

       站在镜子前面的人必须讲实话,那样的话,魔镜就可以实现讲话人的一个愿望。但是,如果在镜子前面不讲实话,就会被镜子吸进去再也出不来。

       So the blonde watched, the first lady looked in the mirror and said,"I think I' m the most beautiful women in the world...” sssssshhhhhhhuuuuuuuupppp, she was sucked into the mirror and never seen again. The next lady in line went up to the mirror and said, "I think I’m the sexiest women in the world. . .” ssssshhhhhhhuuuuuuuupppp, she was sucked into the mirror and never seen again. Next the blonde went up to the mirror with total confidence and said,"I think. . .”ssssssssshhhhhhhhuuuuuuuppppp, she was sucked up into the mirror and never seen again!

       就这样金发女郎看着,第一个女人看着镜子说:“我觉得我是世界上最漂亮的女人。”“嘶嘶嘶僻僻僻……”她被镜子吸了进去再也没出来。第二个女人走到镜子前面说:“我觉得我是世界上最性感的女人。”“嘶嘶嘶僻僻僻......”她也被镜子吸进去再没出来。接着那个金发女郎满怀信心地走到镜子前面说:“我觉得……”“嘶嘶嘶僻僻僻……”她也被魔镜吸了进去再没出来!

英语幽默笑话大全带翻译?

       1、Who is closer to you, your mom oryour dad?

       谁和你更亲近?妈妈还是爸爸?

       Mom is close because dad is farther.

       妈妈更近,因为爸爸更远。

       2、Why shouldn' t we give Elsa a balloon?

       为什么不能给艾莎气球。

       Because she will Let lt Go.

       因为她会把气球放了。

       3、What did a late tomato say to other tomatoes?

       一个迟到的番茄会对其他的番茄说什么?

       I will ketchup (catch up).

       我能赶上!

       笑话能反映出一个民族的价值系统及其对周围世界肯定和否定的态度。下面是我带来的英语幽默笑话带翻译,欢迎阅读!

         英语幽默笑话带翻译精选

         ***一***

         他的得数只比正确答案多二

         Jack Hawkins was the football coach at an Amercian college, and he was always trying to find good players, but they weren't always *** art enought to be accepted by the college. One day the coach brought an excellent young player to the dean of the college and asked that the student be allowed to enter without an examination. "Well," the dean said after some persuasion, "I'd better ask him a few questions first." Then he turned to the student and asked him some very easy questions, but the student didn't know any of the answers. At last the dean said, "Well, what's five times seven?" The student thought for a long time and then answered, "Thirty-six." The dean threw up his hands and looked at the coach in despair, but the coach said earnestly, "Oh, please let him in, sir! He was only wrong by two."

       杰克霍金斯是美国一所学院的橄榄球队教练,他竭力想物色好球员。但是好球员学业不行,院方不愿录取。 有一天,教练带着一位优秀的年轻球员去见院长,希望院方同意他免试入学。经过一番劝说后院长说:“那我最好先问问他几个问题。” 然后他转向学生,问了几个非常简单的问题。可是那个学生一个也答不上来。 最后院长说:“那么,五乘七得多少?” 学生想了很久,然后回答说:“三十六。” 院长摊开双手失望地看教练。可是教练认真地说,“噢,录取他吧,先生。他的答案只比正确答案多二。”

         ***二***

         基本原则

         One of my favorite teachers at Southeast Missouri State University in Cape Girardeau wasknown of his droll sense of humor. Explaining his ground rules to one freshman class, he said, "Now I know my lectures can often be dry and boring, so I don't mind if you look at yourwatches during class. I do, however, object to your pounding them on the desk to make surethey're still running."

         位于吉拉多海角的密苏里东南州立大学有一位我非常喜欢的老师,他奇特的幽默感很是出名。在对一个新生班级讲解他的基本原则时,他说:“我知道我的讲课可能经常会枯燥乏味,了无生趣,所以如果你们在上课时看表我并不介意。不过我坚决反对你们将表在课桌上猛敲看它们是不是还在走。”

         英语幽默笑话带翻译阅读

         ***一***

         A Life for a Life

         以“命”抵命

         The English author, Richard Savage, was once living inLondon in great poverty. In order toearn a little money he hadwritten the story of his life, but not many copies of the bookhad beensold in the shops, and Savage was living from hand tomouth. As a result of his lack of food hebecame very ill, but after a time, owing to the skill of the doctor who had lookedafter him, hegot well again.

         英国作家理查德·萨维奇一度在伦敦过著贫困潦倒的生活,为了赚几个钱,他曾写了有关他自己生平的故事。但是这部书在书店里并没有卖出几本,萨维奇过著朝不保夕的日子。由于缺乏食物,他病得很厉害。后来,由于给他治疗的那个医生的高明医术,他才又恢复了健康。

         After a week or two the doctorsent a bill to Savage for his visits, but poor Savage hadn'tanymoney and couldn't pay it. The doctor waited for another month and sent the bill again. Butstill no money came. Afterseveral weeks he sent it to him again asking for his money. Inthe endhe came to Savage's house and asked him for payment, saying to Savage, “You know you oweyour life to me and Iexpected some gratitude from you.”

         过了一两个星期之后,医生给萨维奇送来了一张讨要诊费的帐单,但是贫穷的萨维奇没有钱来偿付。医生等了一个月后又送来了帐单,但仍然未索回分文。几个星期之后,他又送来帐单要钱。最后,医生本人来到了萨维奇的家中,对他说:“你明白,你是欠我一条命的,我希望你有所报答。”

         “I agree,” said Savage, “that I owe my life to you, and toprove to you that I am not ungratefulfor your work I will givemy life to you.”

         “是的,”萨维奇说,“我是欠你一条命,为了向你证明我对你的诊治不是不报答,我将把我的命给你。”

         With these words he handed to him two volumes entitled,The life of Richard Savage.

         说著这番话,萨维奇递给医生两卷书,名叫《理查德·萨维奇的一生》。

         ***二***

         区别

         "I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," observed the instructor in oneof my graduate engineering courses at California State University in Los Angeles. "When I say,'Good afternoon,' the undergraduates respond, 'Good afternoon." But the graduate studentsjust write it down."

         “研究生班和本科生很容易就能区别开来,”在洛杉矶加利福利亚州立大学给我们研究生上工程学课的老师如此说。“我说‘下午好’,本科生们回答说‘下午好’。研究生们则把我说的话记在笔记本上。”

         英语幽默笑话带翻译学习

         ***一***

         抄袭

         A friend of mine who teachs European history at Washington University in St. Louis tell aboutthe time he spotted a plagiarized term paper. He summoned the student to his office. "This isn'tyour work." he said. "Someone typed it for you straight out of the encyclopedia. "You cann'tprove that!" the student sputtered. My friend amiled and show him the paper. Circled in redwas: "Also see article on muni *** ."

         我有个朋友在圣路易斯的华盛顿大学教欧洲历史,他说有一次他发现了一篇抄袭的学期论文。他把那个学生叫到了办公室。“这不是你写的,”他说,“有人帮你从百科全书上原封不动地列印了下来。” “你没有证据。”那学生气急败坏地说。 我朋友笑了,他把论文拿给他看。用红笔圈出来的是:“也可参阅共产主义一文。”

         ***二***

         Get Ready!

         A story around campus has it taht a student once sent a telegram to his parents reading: "Mom - flunked all courses. Kicked out of school. Prepare Pop." Two days later he received a response: "Pop prepared. Prepare yourself."

         校园里流传着这样的故事:一个学生一次给父母拍了一份电报,上面写着:“妈妈-我所有功课都不及格,被学校开除。让爸爸做好准备。” 两天以后,他收到了回电:“爸爸已准备好。你自己做好准备吧!”

       非常高兴能与大家分享这些有关“英语笑话大全 爆笑”的信息。在今天的讨论中,我希望能帮助大家更全面地了解这个主题。感谢大家的参与和聆听,希望这些信息能对大家有所帮助。